If you ask the Internet for advice, you just might get it

Tags: real world

Do you have a rash at your bra line? Well, Wikihow thinks rubbing basil under your breasts might help. No, really, they even have a picture:

Wait, basil and catnip are both Lamiaceae, right? BRB, off to see if I can talk a cat lady into putting catnip down there

My theory is that somewhere on Earth there's one lonely dude with an herbal breast fetish who hoped this article would inspire women to make breast pesto. ("Bresto?")

He's a considerate fetishist, though, noting that "you should not use basil leaves if you know you have an existing allergy to basil", as if that is something anyone who needs to know it also needs to be told. ("If you are allergic to cats, do not pack catnip under your breasts.")

Unlike many allergies people will tell you they have, there actually are documented cases of basil allergies — though the fact that they're so rare they justify a write-up in a medical journal as recently as six years ago suggests that they do not need to be a top editorial priority.

Intriguingly, the Wikihow article specifies fresh basil - the dried stuff in your spice rack won't cut it, apparently. But how much basil should you plant, just in case? Does a D cup wearer need a dedicated corner of the herb garden, while an A cup can make do with a single plant on the windowsill? I feel like there's a money-making opportunity here, but I'm not sure if it involves cross-marketing or research grants.

Written on March 15, 2016