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Spiritually, too, he passed for a typical Dorimarite; though, indeed, it is never safe to classify the souls of one's neighbors; one is apt, in the long run, to be proved a fool. You should regard each meeting with a friend as a sitting he is unwittingly giving you for a portrait - a portrait that, probably, when you or he die, will still be unfinished. And, though this is an absorbing pursuit, nevertheless, the painters are apt to end pessimists. For however handsome and merry may be the face, however rich may be the background, in the first rough sketch of each portrait, yet with every added stroke of the brush, with every tiny readjustment of the "values," with every modification of the chiaroscuro, the eyes looking out at you grow more disquieting. And, finally, it is your own face that you are staring at in terror, as in a mirror by candle-light, when all the house is still.
We Have Met The Aliens, And They Are Stupid
Okalani Yee wanted to see the galaxy ... but now she's stuck running a mobile hospital for the affable but dimwitted Myosotians. Worse, the slightly less dimwitted Myosotian she's nicknamed Genius Bunny is still a little too smart for the rest of the Myosotians to understand it. Can Okalani help out Genius Bunny - and maybe the rest of its species - without touching off an interplanetary diplomatic crisis?
Not All The Monsters Are Fake
Eighteen-year-old Minna and her friends spent their summer on the road in their SUV, debunking reports ghosts and monsters. In a couple of weeks they'll all head for college - except for the dog, of course - and Mystery Five will come to an end.
Unless Mystery Five comes to an end tonight on Bobcat Mountain.
This time, the mad scientist is real.
You can read "Meddling Kids" in the new Lethe Press anthology Daughters of Frankenstein: Lesbian Mad Scientists!
"The author won me over from the beginning ... It is a delightful journey through a colorful landscape populated by interesting characters" Locus Magazine
"Canfield plays this one in the right tone all the way through ... a lot of fun." Locus Magazine
That Prophecy Does Not Follow Regulations
"I am aware of all this," said PHAIN-7, with the programmed patience AIs require to talk to humans in real time. "Are you aware that these ships believe Wonderful is God, manifested in the form of a starship?"
"I don't see that it's my problem," said Siyaad Yelexow. "It's not against any law I know of to be God."
You can read all about the CLPS Wonderful's ridiculous religion for intelligent starships in "Lift Up Your Cores, O Ye Ships" - now available in the new Geminid Press anthology Night Lights!
Every trip to Vegas I spent an afternoon wandering the Liberace Museum, listening to classical music embellished with trills and frills and boggling at the twin beds with the llama-fur throws. What kind of person does this? What kind of person wants to do this? And those lurid stories about the chauffeur having plastic surgery so Liberace could make love to his own dopplegänger ... how can you even wrap your mind around that? It's like maxing out your Decadence and Narcissism stats.... Read More
The car parked next to me opens its door, but no one gets out. Since I'd just as soon not run anyone down as I leave the grocery store, I glance over and see ... some guy staring at me and masturbating in broad daylight. What a world.... Read More
Suicide Squad might not be as good as you hoped, but it isn't as bad as you've heard.... Read More
Atlas Obscura ran an article on an 1850s invention to transmit messages instantly via snail. Innovator Jacques Toussaint Benoît believed that two snails which had come in contact would always be connected by an invisible "escargotic fluid" which which "can be uncoiled and prolonged almost indefinitely in space without its breaking". As a result, when one snail of the pair was stimulated, a galvanic current would travel along the fluid to the other snail. (In Jake's words, it's "quantum entanglement, but with snails".)... Read More
When I had to do an unplanned dissection of an overheating laptop, I was pleasantly surprised that I already had the perfect tool for cracking the case in a watchmakers' tool kit. (It's the yellow tool in the photo, though that's not the actual set I have, which seems to be unavailable.) I hoped it had a cool evocative name, but it just seems to be a "watch case opener" or a "push-type opener". Instead of anxiously pulling on the plastic, trying to find the right balance between pulling the connectors free and snapping them right off, you can just run it along the crack and pop the parts free. Whoever invented this deserves a medal.... Read More